![]() From high-school onward, 20 years now, I've not really had any experiences in real life. My health is awful and I know an unhealthy body will affect my mind as well, but I'm sure it's not a shocker that someone that lives on the internet is in awful shape. I find that surfing has radicalized me to various political ideologies over time and that I've lost what was once a great short-term memory completely (I feel like a damn goldfish now) and my ability for critical thought has diminished a lot. I literally can't even remember what I've read or watched the next day so not even enjoying it, and then going to sleep for a couple of hours, tired all day so I'm unproductive, nap a bit in the evening to catch up and more useless surfing. I've been doing this all week, mindlessly browsing till 4-5am. I'm still there to this day but the pattern is the same, work and reddit and youtube now to this day.Įven now, it's 3am and I need to get up in 4 hours. Found another job end of 2017, this time more relevant to the field I studied in, and got a good salary for once. It took 3 years but eventually being a social retard I was pretty much bullied out of the job because no one wanted me there and I quit in late 2017. I didn't specify this but I was an outcast at every job I've had including this one. That's all my life was for the next few years, reddit and work. I had found reddit in 2012 (due to the MMO) and when I stopped playing as much I replaced that time with browsing reddit. It was night shift, so all I did was work and browse now. I found another job later in 2014 that I hated but at least it paid well. I became depressed at that job and quit, almost going homeless due to not having money. I didn't make any meaningful bonds online either though so in the end all I got out of my time was some gaming, a huge chunk of that to 1 MMO.Ģ012 I graduated at the same time a new MMO came out which I was super addicted to (Guild Wars 2), so I ended up sticking with my shitty job that had nothing to do with my studies, and mid 2013 even went part-time at that job until mid 2014 when my addiction to the MMO started to wane a bit. ![]() I played mostly games online so while it was wasted time at least I enjoyed it and played a lot of online games. Up until now, I was still mostly productive going through university (although I fucked that up a bit too by switching programs a bunch and took 8 years for a bachelors) and working in the summer and sometimes part-time in the year so I wasn't full NEET. I can only recall going out and doing something a handful of times. The other years I just did my university work, spent time gaming/browsing, or worked. My first year of university I did try to make friends and went to a few parties but I ended up being mostly hated by those around me for being a weirdo I guess so I gave up trying. My lack of social skills made me retreat even more into my own shell and browsing the internet more and more. I tried to hit on girls a bit but was rejected a few times and stopped trying, just went back to gaming/browsing and like every teenager had a porn addiction.Ģ004-2012 I was in university. I don't remember much of high-school to be honest. ![]() I stopped playing sports, started having less friends as people formed groups in high-school while I mostly stuck to my computer. That did include the internet but in healthy amounts, mostly gaming.Ģ000-2004 I was in highschool. Before 2000 I was still a young kid and did regular young kid stuff and had a good life. When I was still in university, who knows, a little less due to studying but the rest of my free time was internet time as well. In recent years I estimate around 3600 hours a year since 2012. Like a lot of you folk here I wasted much of my life on the internet.
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